The Moneyshake Tokyo Olympics 2020: What Cars Would We Take?

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Finally The Summer Olympic Games are almost upon us, and with 33 different sports on show, you’re bound to have your fill of entertainment. There are even a few debut sports, including skateboarding, surfing and baseball.

But what if you had to take cars instead of real athletes to the games? This sounds ridiculous, but each car has its own talent, much like an athlete – some are good in water, others break records going around a circuit.

With this in mind, we’ve put together a guide of cars we’d take as our Team GB Olympians for this year’s games for some of the most popular sports. Read on and share your thoughts on which cars you think should make the cut!

 

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1. Aquatics – Land Rover Defender

 
New Land Rover Defender
 

With a wading depth of 900mm, the new Land Rover Defender is by far the best ‘swimmer’ in the automotive world. Even the original Defender can’t beat the latest guise, despite having more rugged looks (its 500mm wading depth is far less than in the newest version).

For this reason we had to pick it to be our Team GB Olympian for the Aquatics.

 

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2. Archery – Honda Civic Type R

 
New Honda Civic Type R
 

For archery, one needs to be as sharp as an arrow when it comes to accuracy. And when it comes to handling, you can look no further than the beloved hot hatch segment for any worthy ‘carcher’.

King of precision steering is the Honda Civic Type R, making up for its less enthusiastic engine note.

 

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3. Badminton – Nissan Leaf

 
New Nissan Leaf
 

What can be as inoffensive yet strangely enjoyable than badminton? The Nissan Leaf of course.

Of course you wouldn’t choose a game of badminton over the likes of squash or tennis, the latter of which promise much higher intensity and enjoyment. Likewise you wouldn’t choose the lukewarm Leaf over a more driver-centric EV like the Volkswagen ID.3.

 

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4. Baseball – Ford Mustang

 
New Ford Mustang
 

Baseball and the Ford Mustang. Is there anything more tradional to ‘Murica?

This wasn’t the only logic behind us choosing the ‘Stang as our baseball player though. With its punchy 5.0-litre V8 engine on top-spec models too, you can be guaranteed a few home runs when it starts to play ball.

 

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5. Basketball – Audi Q7

 
New Audi Q7
 

There are fewer large seven-seater SUVs that perform as well as the Audi Q7, and its towering presence is perfect on the court.

All models come with an adaptive air suspension and Quattro four-wheel drive too, which should make quick manoeuvring and getting ‘air time’ for a jump shot a doddle.

 

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6. Boxing – Toyota Land Cruiser

 
New Toyota Land Cruiser
 

The UK is dominating the heavyweight division in boxing and a lot of it stems from our great performances in the Olympics. We’re referring to a certain Anthony Joshua here, of course.

So, why not continue in the same vein and pick a new future heavyweight champion? Well, that’s exactly what we’ve gone with by choosing the bullish Toyota Land Cruiser.

With a tough build and plenty of torque, the Land Cruiser is built to take a hit and last the full 12.

 

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7. Canoeing/kayaking – Mercedes-Benz G-Class

 
New Mercedes-Benz G-Class
 

The Mercedes-Benz G-Class is our second option for the other watersports in the Tokyo Olympics, Canoeing and Kayaking.

It can perform in depths of up to 700mm, while its insanely powerful 3.0-litre diesel engine allows it to sail effortlessly when you need a quick turn of pace.

 

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8. Cycling – Skoda Superb

 
New Skoda Superb
 

As a main sponsor of the biggest cycling race in the world, the Tour De France, Skoda is known for its incredibly efficient models. And no trait is more important in the sport of cycling than efficiency.

In particular, we’ve selected the range-topping Skoda Superb, which is like a space shuttle when you choose the brand’s most potent 2.0 TSI 280 engine. It comes with four-wheel drive as standard and a 0-62mph time of just 5.2 seconds, yet will return around 40mpg. If that isn’t enough power and efficiency to win the yellow jersey, we don’t know what is…!

 

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9. Equestrian – Audi R8

 
New Audi R8
 

The Audi R8 is the epitome of horsepower, so it’s only natural that we choose it to be our Equestrian Olympian.

To get the most punch out of our jockey and horse, we’d choose the top-spec 612bhp V10 engine that you get when specifying the Performance model. What’s more is that the R8 is naturally aspirated, so you don’t get any of the turbocharger lag that rivals are hit by – acceleration is instant.

 

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10. Fencing – Audi RS4

 
New Audi RS4
 

Good footwork is a crucial trait to being a decent fencer, and the Audi RS4 comes with Quattro four-wheel drive that means it’s brilliant on its (wheels) feet.

The nimbleness the RS4 has, plus its traction out of corners would make it a worthy opponent to any it faces in a duel.

 

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11. Gymnastics – Volkswagen T-Cross

 
New Volkswagen T-Cross
 

Naturally, if you’re a gymnast you need to be flexible. The Volkswagen T-Cross knows a thing or two about flexibility.

Unlike some of its closest rivals, the T-Cross has an upperhand thanks to its sliding rear seats that let you prioritise passenger or boot space, depending on your needs. This feature applies to the individual seats too, something which only tends to be available on more expensive SUVs.

 

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12. Weightlifting – Land Rover Discovery

 
New Land Rover Discovery
 

From horseboxes and family caravans to boat trailers, there isn’t much that the burly Land Rover Discovery can’t pull.

Its max towing capacity of 3,500kg is hard to beat, especially when you combine it with the powerful petrol and diesel engines, plus four-wheel drive which is standard on every spec.

 

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13. Track and field – Tesla Model 3

 
New Tesla Model 3 Performance
 

Electric cars are quickly becoming established in the racing division, especially with the emergence of Formula-E. However, it’s a road production model which we’ve gone with to represent Team GB on the big stage – track and field.

The Tesla Model 3 set the record for fastest production EV around the famous Laguna Seca racecourse in California. It took just 1 minute and 41.28 seconds for the Model 3 to complete the 2.2-mile long course, which is just under 14 seconds slower than the uber-quick McLaren Senna.

 

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